dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
