It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
