nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
