Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
