What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
