just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
