wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
