This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
