Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
