Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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