so explain again why im purple
no
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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