Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
