I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
