I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
