So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
