What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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