you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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