That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize