Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
