he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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