I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
