I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Are we still banned from the library?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
