you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
