Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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