But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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