The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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