don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
