whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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