Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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