i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
