Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
