Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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