she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
