This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
