you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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