Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
