i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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