At least make sure they are 18
Why
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
