Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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