i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
