Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
