my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
