Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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