Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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