There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
