if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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