in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
