Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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