I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont even know how to be here
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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