I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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