hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
