She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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