can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
