Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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