I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
