sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
