38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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