Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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