Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
