In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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