i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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