she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
God, I missed his penis.
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