Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize