dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
