all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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